I have to admit that I feel scared. I am scared of my future. Like him, I have scoliosis, and have been feeling quite inferior about this fact of my body. Some friends noticed it, and whenever they commented about it, with politeness and good intention, somehow there's a slight pain and sort-of-shameness in my heart. I think, human tends to feels like escaping whenever being confronted an uncomfortable, yet starkingly true fact.
When I was small, we were not that well exposed to medical knowledge to diagnose the symptoms. Only when I finished my high school, got a scholarship and was required to do a medical checkup, the doctor told me that my X-ray shows a "deformed spine" - "S-shape scoliosis with dorsal left concavity apex at T7 with 22 degrees and right lumbar concavity with 35 degree. Acquired compression to the left side of T8."
What a shock! Went through a flurry of activities, going to specialists and checkups. Some doctor suggested physiotheraphy, some suggested chiropractic, some said surgery could readjust the spine, but with high risk. Tried out a bit of physiotheraphy and chiropractic, but stopped after some time due to the expensive costs.
Have been having neck pains and backache more often these days, and I am worried about it. As usual, it's right shoulder, right scapula region and left lower back. Same old areas. I do yoga stretches to alleviate it, and pray very hard the scoliosis will not further affect the internal organs. It is a scary thought to know that a human's body is such a fragile framework, and suddenly life appear to be so precious.
This morning I bumped into the man again. I prayed for him silently, or was I praying for myself at the same time? Perhaps. I know when I get old, my back would look like his. Yet, somehow, somewhere in my heart, I think I haven't been able to fully accept it. Living in denial? Perhaps.
I think, a better way face it would be to take care of my body now and live happily. Afterall, worrying about future does not help much. What matters most is neither past or future, but present. Treasure every moment, treasure the people that I care about.
14 comments:
Health is more than wealth as once lost it cannot be easily recovered whereas money can always be earned back.
Take precious care. *hugs*
BTW my blog is now at www.fh2o.kuchingkayak.com Same old blog but at new address.
Wow...didn't know you were having to deal with that along with everything else! At least you know you have the problem, so you know how to deal with it when you are willing and able!
I think a lot of people with congenital defects try to pretend they don't exist...and then they just become a much worse problem later. Take FH2o's advice.
保重身体!
特别是长期用电脑或上课时注意座的姿勢要正确既为重要.
谢谢你的明信片. :-)
I agree with MM that at least you know about it and would be able to deal with it. I have a friend who just discovered the actual cause of her problem. Her parents were led to believe that she was a victim of polio. She only found out late last year but is actually a little late. To make it worse, she's been putting on weight so the extra weight is aggravating the problem and her back aches when she walks for too long.
Take care, YD.
I'm sorry to hear of your problem and we can pray for you certainly. You seem to be dealing with it well though, trying remedies. Also, knowledge is a good thing. One day at a time is a good motto anyway.
Perhaps having an illness or disability makes us more aware of others, more compassionate.
W.
I had a chronic back pain about ten years ago that lasted for several years. In my case it was lower back pain that would shoot down one leg. Commonly called sciatica.
I tried chiropractic treatments (2 different docs), conventional medicine (drugs with an offer for surgery - NO! thank you) and massage therapy (which helped but only short term).
Then, one of the agents in my real estate office helped me. She was trained in a kind of therapy from Australia called "Bowen Therapy". I read about it and was VERY sceptical of it. But I gave it a try because I had tried everything else. I was sceptical even during the treatment process as it seemed too simple and even "unscientific". I didn't think it could work. But after three treatments, my pain, which had plagued me for years, was gone. And never came back. In fact, a year or so later, she reminded me of it over lunch and the funny thing was, I had competely forgotten about it!
To this day I do not know the reason for my cure, I just know it worked and am forever grateful for the relief I received.
Read about it here: Bowen technique
If you'd like to talk to the person who treated me, I'd be happy to give you her email address. You know my email if you want to ask me about it.
Take care, YD.
Bowen technique? It rings a bell. I think there is a Geelong connection so I'll check it out.
W.
Thanks everyone. Thanks for pointing out to me the importance of being aware of the problem and preparing to handle it. I remember reading upon some books about the cycle of emotions when people find out about unpleasant discovery - surprised, denial, acceptance and awareness (something like that). I have to learn to be mindful of my emotions and take care of myself.
Thanks panda for recommending the bowen techniques. I will try to find out about the treatment in UK. I will call my dad to ask too cuz I remember he has mentioned about it before. Will email you soon and bombard you with questions, if you don't mind. :-)
YD, if Bowen doesn't work out, remember that if you go down to the museum in the Tower of London, they have a rack....
Sorry. Just trying to make so smile.
Love and wags,
Momo
YD - the good news is that your curvature is less than 25 degrees and probably will not get worse as you are already grown. So risky treatment is probably unnecessary.
We hope you find a reliable means of relieving the chronic pain you get. That will make a big difference.
Love,
Pandabonium and K (and of course the four-legged girl).
panda, k and momo,
HUGS!!! thanks very much for your concern! I have found a Bowen practitioner nearby in London area, and would be fixing up an appointment. Will see how's the result.
My dad recommended Tai-Chi to me too, since he is practicing it. ;-P He said it cured his rheumatism, but it really depends on how each individual react to different types of treatments.
momo, I think between tower of london with tate modern, I would go for the latter one, somehow i feel the giant slides can help somehow. ;0)
lots of hugs and love
yd
Glad to see that you are optimistic and positive throughout.
Take care ya!
=)
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