宝贝- 张悬

(Tried to post a video from Youtube but the video failed to load, starting to suspect I am really technical-error-prone. Anyway, here is the video link.)

朋友寄来了张悬所唱的《宝贝》，一听就听上瘾了。

好喜欢张悬轻柔的歌声，更喜欢那纯真的歌词。在深夜听着这首歌，心中有一丝丝的暖意，还有一种幸福的感觉。。。

与大家分享这首歌。

歌曲：宝贝
演唱：张悬

我的宝贝宝贝
给你一点甜甜
让你今夜都好眠
我的小鬼小鬼
逗逗你的眉眼
让你喜欢这世界

Chorus:
哇啦啦啦啦啦我的宝贝
倦的时候有个人陪 （孤单时有人把你想念）
哎呀呀呀呀呀我的宝贝
要你知道你最美

我的宝贝宝贝
给你一点甜甜
让你今夜很好眠
我的小鬼小鬼
捏捏你的小脸
让你喜欢整个明天

# Temporary closure

Temporary non-activity due to final exams in progress. Will be back after 8 May.

Hehe... Sneak preview - Will be going to Santorini Island with a bunch of friends right after exam from 2nd May to 8 May. Very looking forward to the trip!

I just can't sit still thinking of the trip!

# Canary Wharf

This is is London's traditional financial centre, The Square Mile, Canary Wharf. These three buildings are the three tallest buildings in UK - One Canada Square, HSBC Tower, and Citigroup Centre. Although not as impressive as US's skyscrapers, these are considered some "WOWs" for UK.

I have been to Canary Wharf a few times to visit friends, and I could always feel a difference between the place and the Central London.

Central London is full of people and activities, and lots of buildings scattered everywhere. People are rushing, crowds are shoving, street-sellers are shouting out prices of their goods, shops are busy, shopping streets are packed full of crowd, weather was crappy as usual traffic was haphazard...

Canary Wharf is full of tall buildings, and lots of working people wearing suits, carrying solemn looks. The place is spacious, and cleanliness is maintained. I like the cleanliness, but somehow, I feel some feelings of emptiness when I was there a few times.

I don't know how to describe it, the place seems perfect and nice, well-planned and well-maintained, but it lacks of a feel of... life. I know it's somewhat a crazy notion, but that's the feeling that the environment gave me.

Just like these statues, the place feel the lack of "Living Qi"

Perhaps it is due to the fact that the whole place is such a concrete jungle that the "Qi" that it exudes is that kind of cold, metal "Qi".

The "metals"...

Perhaps it is because the city garden is man-made landscaped that it look too fake.

Perhaps it is due to the fact that the place is only full of working people, looking serious and rushing for work during weekdays; and become lifeless during weekend when nobody is around.

Some French-style open air cafe. Only difference was the seats in France were full, here most are empty.

Perhaps it is because I have been too used to living in places in London like Wood Green or Whitechapel which are so pack full of activities, street markets, all kinds of people (different races, different backgrounds, different social classes), where almost everyday we can hear police siren going off or see police cars zooming past. (Hmm... it's starting to sound a bit like the dodgy end of London now...)

Perhaps I'm a bit too particular about places, but I prefer a place which there are some communities and people and activities, where we can observe life going on, than a place which are clean and beautiful and well maintained, but somehow you just don't feel you belong there in someway.

Canary Wharf is really nice and clean and meets all the requirement of proper town-planning. I enjoyed my leisure strolls with friends at the place, I enjoyed the calm feeling I have with the quiet surrounding. But somehow, I just can't feel I can actually belong the the place like that.

More photos taken in Canary Wharf.

# From P2S to DSLR?

I remembered that about two years ago, I have pondered about changing my camera from point-to-shoot to DSLR. I have found interest in photography, and has always envied the people with proper canggih camera which can do wonders to the shots.

At that time, I was still having my BenQ DC2300, an extremely simple, basic digital camera.

This baby, BenQ DC2300, which is now out of production, was my first ever camera, also, the first ever digital camera. It was a gift from daddy, he bought it for me in PC Fair, before I leave home to study in UK. I still remembered his words, "Take photos and send back to us ya, especially photos with you inside!" Thinking back, I just felt so grateful to have such a loving daddy who has brought me up with love, care, encouragement and support...

BenQ has been with me for a few years, despite its lack of functions, I still love it very much. It is, after all, the first digital camera for me to explore the world of photography. During my first year in university, I brought it almost anywhere I go. I realized that since having a camera, I have started to notice simple, beautiful moments that should be captured and kept as memories.

Simple moment like this...

While having BenQ, I have been eyeing greedily with the various new cameras that my friends have. I still remembered I have been laughed at most of the time for having the most out-dated cameras in the market, hehe, but that made me more passionate to brush up my photography skills to compensate the technical weakness. And I have told myself, one day I'm gonna save enough money to buy a proper DSLR.

After some time, my passion somehow died down a bit, maybe due to there is no photography buddy whom I can share interest with, nor can I find any "sifu" to learn more proper skills. I'm really lucky to have bumped into JY and Ozzy, who are good in photography, and much more committed and avid photographer than myself. Made me feel shameful for being so slack. :-)

Both of them have helpfully taught me more about photography, and with their encouragement, I am starting to ponder again to get a DSLR. My Yangyang has been very sweet to offer to buy one for me,*muaks*, and now we are looking into a few models.

Anyway, I have been looking at a few entry-level DSLR, suggested by friends, for example Canon EOS 400D, Nikon d40 and Sony Alpha. I have looked into reviews from various sources to compare and choose the one which would be (hopefully) more suitable for my use as a hobbyist. For some unknown reason, I am attracted to Nikon d40, probably due to its affordable price, or some unexplainable attraction it has on me. Hehe.

Would it be D40 for me? I wonder...

Anyone with any recommendation or hands-on review on DSLR? I am a beginner switching from P2S to DSLR, and would not be going too deep into really expensive hi-specs ones. Currently I'm more inclined to D40, but would be glad to hear any other opinions and suggestions. :-)

DSLR, here I come!

# Pancake Day!

20th February 2007 is the Pancake Day! (Also known as Shrove Tuesday)

Shrove Tuesday is commonly used in UK, Ireland and Australia. The day comes after Collop Monday and before Ash Wednesday, where the Lent season begins.

So why are pancakes associated with the day signifying the start of the Lent?

There is an explanation that there is a 40-days period of Lent of fasting, during which only plain food may be eaten. Food considered "rich" like eggs, milk and sugar are disposed before the fasting starts. So, a way to use up these perishable goods is to make pancakes and doughnuts, which in a way gives people a minor celebratory feast before the pain fast starts.

According to wikipedia, the word "shrove" is a past tense of "shrive", its meaning is to obtain absolution for our sins by confessing and doing penance. Shrove Tuesday gets its name from the shriving that Anglo-Saxon Christians were expected to receive immediately before Lent.For a non-christian like me, Pancake Day have a different meaning... It means, YUMMY!!!

My housemate made some salty pancakes, in which she added onions and peppers and other stuffs. They taste yummy, it's a totally different taste from the traditional ones.

I prefer the sweet ones, so I took out all my long-neglected flour (hope it is still useable) and eggs and sugar and everything...
and after 15 minutes... they're done!

As I squeezed the honey all over my pancakes, I can't help taking a closer look at these beauties...

And an even closer look...

I like to stack the pancakes up, and cut them in layers. It saves space and time too. Here I come, pancakes!

# Phew...

Did a class presentation today, and realized I felt so nervous when talking in front. I was quite surprised actually, as I don't normally feel nervous during other times of presentations. Fumbled a lot and did a lot of mistakes, but I'm glad that it was finally over.

Felt a bit like that

Feedbacks from friends were very helpful. I sounded too fierce, like YY described, "sounds like a primary school who teach with a serious face". Haha, perhaps I have been too used to teaching in class already. I wonder whether I have been like this when teaching last time, but somehow the students still bullied me. =_=!!!

I think JY's comment was very true, he said that I sounded fierce because I felt scared, and by "intimidating" the audience, I alleviate my fear. It's good to have someone giving constructive comments. I will improve myself in future presentations, especially in BNM where there are listless of presentations coming up...

Another thing I realized from this presentation is that strangely, I feel much more at ease giving presentations to a much larger group of strangers, than to friends I know. Maybe with friends, we have been hanging out everyday, and it felt so awkward to have to stand in front of all of them to speak... It certainly feels much more comfortable sitting in smaller circle, talking crap discussing homework and etc..

Anyway, I think this presentation has given me a good lesson. I certainly need to learn to overcome the anxiety, and I need to relax and smile.

Smile, and the world smile with you.

# Fav artwork

There are many ways we can interpret the drawing...
But for me, this drawing meant a lot to me, and I felt very touched at the bottom of my heart.

Explanation:

This is a drawing by a person who loves sea very much.
He has been sailing a lot in earlier times, but later his direction of life changed.
He loves the underwater world - the fantasy, the fascinating creatures in the water.
But he has fear as well, fear of the sinking of ship, and death in the sea.
He fears the loneliness under the dark sea too,
so he has his loved one, a piggy, by his side to stay by him.

Further explanation:
The piggy represents his loved one's chinese almanac. ;-)
FMC is a side advertisement for his current company.

# Phang Jie!

Dearest Phang Jie and Shou Feng,

This is it! This is the time you guys are reunited, to begin a new life together.


It's a pity we can't make it to Taipei to attend your blissful wedding, but we will make it for the "red-egg" ceremony! I send you my best wishes for a happy, long-lasting marriage. May you stay together happilly ever after!

Shou feng, you better take good care of our Phang Jie, cuz ALL of us scattered all over the world will be watching! ^_^

Phang jie, despite you becoming Mrs Xu and soon becoming a mummy, you will still be our beloved, bulliable, kacau-able, super Phang Jie in our hearts!


Love,
Doink

# Health is wealth

Almost everyday I reached Old Street tube station about 9.55am, about time to start my classes. And almost everyday, as I came down from the tube, I would see a familiar silhouette. A crooked back, a deformed spine. It's a middle-aged man who happens to go to work about the same time as I do. A few times I happened to walk just behind him, and the figure haunted me for a long time.

I have to admit that I feel scared. I am scared of my future. Like him, I have scoliosis, and have been feeling quite inferior about this fact of my body. Some friends noticed it, and whenever they commented about it, with politeness and good intention, somehow there's a slight pain and sort-of-shameness in my heart. I think, human tends to feels like escaping whenever being confronted an uncomfortable, yet starkingly true fact.

When I was small, we were not that well exposed to medical knowledge to diagnose the symptoms. Only when I finished my high school, got a scholarship and was required to do a medical checkup, the doctor told me that my X-ray shows a "deformed spine" - "S-shape scoliosis with dorsal left concavity apex at T7 with 22 degrees and right lumbar concavity with 35 degree. Acquired compression to the left side of T8."


What a shock! Went through a flurry of activities, going to specialists and checkups. Some doctor suggested physiotheraphy, some suggested chiropractic, some said surgery could readjust the spine, but with high risk. Tried out a bit of physiotheraphy and chiropractic, but stopped after some time due to the expensive costs.

Have been having neck pains and backache more often these days, and I am worried about it. As usual, it's right shoulder, right scapula region and left lower back. Same old areas. I do yoga stretches to alleviate it, and pray very hard the scoliosis will not further affect the internal organs. It is a scary thought to know that a human's body is such a fragile framework, and suddenly life appear to be so precious.

This morning I bumped into the man again. I prayed for him silently, or was I praying for myself at the same time? Perhaps. I know when I get old, my back would look like his. Yet, somehow, somewhere in my heart, I think I haven't been able to fully accept it. Living in denial? Perhaps.

I think, a better way face it would be to take care of my body now and live happily. Afterall, worrying about future does not help much. What matters most is neither past or future, but present. Treasure every moment, treasure the people that I care about.

# Lazing around

09.06.06. 2.18pm

It was a hot afternoon, a few days after the final exams finished. After all the celebration and gathering, was feeling the laziness creeping in. I just wanna have a quiet afternoon by myself.

Was lazing around on my bed, which is directly under my window. Looking up at the window from a lying-down position sure had a different perspective.

Then I got a bit "wu-liao" and decided to have an upside-down look at our room.

The sunshine was good, so I quickly washed my shoes and dry it on my window panes.

A little bit more eerie-looking from this view.

When I gazed out of the window, I was a bit shocked to notice a "new" mountain suddenly appeared at the far place! Zooming in my camera (sadly it's just digital zoom.. boo hoo...) and taking a closer look, I realized it was just some pinkish clouds! What a deceiving look!

Another lazy doodle during another lazy afternoon...

# Rebuilding the foundation

Friendship is such a beautiful thing, yet it can be so strong yet so fragile.

There has been some conflicts among a few of us friends recently, and everyone was feeling miserable and hurt. Everyone cares for everyone else, but the hurt was deep, hence there was always an air of coldness in conversation.

Today, we thrashed things out. Sat down face to face and each person put down their feelings and opinions. The emotions were strong, yet we felt the care and love too. I was glad that we talked things out. Many things were unpleasant, but I felt it is a good thing that we point out the wrongs, so that in future we can make things right.

In friendship, I believe one of the most fundamental thing is being able to point out each other's weakness and give reminder/advice to each other frankly, with good intention and care. Personally I would rather let my close friends point out my wrongs and give me a wake-up call, than making a similar mistake again and again, causing unhappiness to people around us.

We have built a foundation of friendship over the time, and conflicts have eroded some of the stucture. We knocked down the wall, and rebuilt everything again. And I realized, the foundation is stronger now.

At one point, we have the choices of either letting things go by and maintaining polite acquantaince relationship, or thrashing things out and rebuilding the foundation. I am glad that we chose the latter one.

I feel blessed to have these precious friendships, and even more grateful that I have the friends that can sit down and talk things out, friends that care and love each other. Thank you, my dear friends.

# 2006

It is 2006, and it is my third year overseas. I am quite surprised how much I have changed over the years, and how much I have still remained the same.

Coming abroad has really made me more independent, both in terms of living as well as personal thinking and outlook. I remembered the times - both good and bad - when I have to learn to grow up, think rationally and make major decisions. Going through the experiences, getting hurt sometimes, feeling happy sometimes, is something that I will cherish always. They made me grow, and made me change for better.

Growing up is such an interesting thing. As I grow older, I no longer hold too tightly to some 'philosophies' I used to have about the world, instead, the outlook about life, the thinking about this world, the principle of my life, grow to a higher level maturity and openness. Yet, there is still so much more to learn in life, to experience and to try out, to make changes, to do something that matters. Lying ahead is a long stretch of road I will embark on. This is the path of my life, and I want to walk it well.

Interestingly, along the way, I discovered my inner strength, and rediscovered my dreams. Somehow the dream to make an impact of change in life is not a faraway dream. Somehow the childhood dream of writing books to initiate changes is not impossible. Somehow, my dreams are achievable, if I have the will to go for it.

Sitting down reflecting, reviewing the past, and at the same time thinking ahead, might sound like a procrastination. But as I look back, look ahead, and look where I am standing, I can reposition myself to the right direction I wish to head to.

As usual, I do not do resolutions of new year. I just wish for clarity of mind to make decisions, wholesomeness of heart to care, and health to carry on living this life.

Happy New Year.