Friday, June 16, 2006

# Rebuilding the foundation

Friendship is such a beautiful thing, yet it can be so strong yet so fragile.

There has been some conflicts among a few of us friends recently, and everyone was feeling miserable and hurt. Everyone cares for everyone else, but the hurt was deep, hence there was always an air of coldness in conversation.

Today, we thrashed things out. Sat down face to face and each person put down their feelings and opinions. The emotions were strong, yet we felt the care and love too. I was glad that we talked things out. Many things were unpleasant, but I felt it is a good thing that we point out the wrongs, so that in future we can make things right.

In friendship, I believe one of the most fundamental thing is being able to point out each other's weakness and give reminder/advice to each other frankly, with good intention and care. Personally I would rather let my close friends point out my wrongs and give me a wake-up call, than making a similar mistake again and again, causing unhappiness to people around us.

We have built a foundation of friendship over the time, and conflicts have eroded some of the stucture. We knocked down the wall, and rebuilt everything again. And I realized, the foundation is stronger now.

At one point, we have the choices of either letting things go by and maintaining polite acquantaince relationship, or thrashing things out and rebuilding the foundation. I am glad that we chose the latter one.

I feel blessed to have these precious friendships, and even more grateful that I have the friends that can sit down and talk things out, friends that care and love each other. Thank you, my dear friends.

8 comments:

Z.J. said...

YD:
我很羨慕你有這樣的好朋友, 最底限度她/他們願意接納對方的意見來檢討自已.
應該好好珍惜這些友宜.

我曾經亦常試和我的朋友在一次聚會裏..互相告訴有那些缺點應該去改善…..結果就是------*忠言逆耳*.現在也找不會那段友宜.

祝你有一個溫馨的假期----Home sweet home---->馬來西亞`

Robin said...

All friends are a package deal... you get his good and his bad.

Most of the time, we agree to disagree.. for friends.

But for life partner, we tend to be a bit more unreasonable.. and expect agreement all the time.

I like friends better, the gap is important.

what do u think?>

The Moody Minstrel said...

Any relationship that can stand up to a good thrashing is definitely true...and bound to get even stronger.

Kampungkai said...

One thing good about girls is that u guys can talk things out. It neve works out on guys!

we dun talk... i dunno why. for my case, i dun keep anger long, cos it brings no advantage. A basketball game together will mend the wound, and everything goes back to normal.

Glad that u have such caring friends around. All the best.

YD said...

z.j.,
thank you for your well wishes! I feel blessed to to have open-minded friends, will definitely treasure the friendship. May you have a great summer holiday too!

robin
interesting how we can accommodate friend's fault but can't accept even a small weakness of partner rite? We need to learn to treat a relationship like we are flying a kite - let go when we must, and pull back when it gets too far, balance.

moody
thanks! thrashing hurts, but after the hurt, the stronger foundation is worth it.

kampungkai
hehe, some of the friends are guys. ;-P but it is more common to see that girls talk to girls more easily, guys talk to girls more easily, than guys-to-guys. :-) perhaps, actions speaks louder?

Pandabonium said...

"I am a rock, I am an island" - Simon and Garfunkle

Not a happy way to go through life.

Better to keep rebuilding those walls.

The Moody Minstrel said...

All in all it's just a...nother brick in the wall...

Hmm...
That doesn't sound very optimistic, either.

Kurakat said...

Glad to hear that things turn out well for you, YD...

I have an issue with a friend whom I cared for but had not yet figure out how to bring the message across. I am encouraged when I read your entry.

I cherish our friendship and will do my best to keep it. Even if it means tearing down walls and rebuilding everything again.

But this is better than losing her as a friend. A friend whom I have come to cherish...